The Tears Finally Came

This morning I was cooking myself one of my favorite breakfasts; hash browns, onions, garlic, and eggs, all fresh, and all combined in a single skillet. As is my habit, the radio in the kitchen was tuned to NPR’s Morning Edition.

Since the horrible event in Newtown, Connecticut last Friday, I’ve switched the radio off whenever this much covered event came on. For some reason, listening to it was more than I could handle. Since we don’t have a TV, and since I can mostly control what I read on my computer screen, I’ve been able to avoid most of this coverage. I don’t understand why this particular event has caused this behavior in me, since more horrific things are likely happening to children over the world every day.

This morning as I was paying attention to my breakfast on the wood stove, a piece came on about a group that brought some service dogs into the community for the children. They began describing a yellow lab from Chicago, and I completely lost if. I was sobbing into my skillet with tears flowing down my cheeks. That this event is complicated, there is no doubt. That it has touched many of us in ways we may never understand, there is no doubt. Will I ever be able to look into the trusting eyes of another 6 year old again without my vision getting blurry… I wonder. It is one thing for civilized adults to let each other down. We seem to thrive on such competition. But to so utterly fail those first grade vulnerable trusting souls in a place that should be a refuge of safety tells me at least, that we need to rethink some things. In my case, the vector of this realization was a pair of trusting eyes belonging to a yellow lab who was brought to Newtown to help the survivors. My wish to you is for a vector to find you too, because when we let out children down, we need to rethink these things.

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